“You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.” (Ex. 20:16).
Few people realize the incredible, destructive power of the human tongue.
Because of a few miss-spoken words:
- Homes and families have been splintered,
- Reputations shattered,
- Careers shredded, and
- Lives literally destroyed or even ended.
That little piece of muscle that lies in your mouth behind your lips and your teeth can bless or bruise, heal or hurt, love or lambaste. It all depends upon how you use it.God says that we must never be guilty of lying on our neighbor thereby causing him to suffer. We are exhorted to always be truthful and absolutely honest when dealing with another person. As we consider some of what God has said about the tongue, may He help us to understand that every time we speak of another, we literally hold that person's reputation in our hands.
NOTE:“Let us now turn to the topic of today: namely, gossip and slander. I'll begin by giving you some basic facts about these words and their appearance in the NASB
- The word gossip, or a variant of it appears, 7 times; once in the Old Testament, and 6 times in the New Testament.
- 3 of the New Testament occurrences are in the form 'malicious gossips', which translates the Greek word diabolos – “devil”. This word occurs 34 other times; in all of those it is translated as devil. This perhaps provides some clue as to what God thinks of this activity.
- The other 3 NT occurrences translate Greek words that mean either whispering or babbling.
- The OT word means something like 'to be spacious, wide, or open.'
- The word slander or its variants (including talebearer) occurs 29 times, 17 in the Old Testament, and 12 in the New Testament.
- The 17 OT occurrences are translations of 8 different Hebrew words, with basic meanings including 'going about on foot', 'whispering','tearing apart', and 'evil report'.
- The 12 NT occurrences include translations of a word that is also translated 'blasphemies', and other words with the basic meanings of 'speaking evil', and 'abusive speech'. “
- As was mentioned above, the LXX often translated the Hebrew word for satan with the Greek noun diabolos. That is where the English word "devil" has its root – it comes from the old Greek word diabolos which was used in such meanings as "slanderer" and "enemy".
C. Michael Holloway 11 October 1998
How To Handle Your Neighbor's Reputation? Or Better Yet
How Do You Handle Your Own?
1. A REPUTATION IS A VALUABLE POSSESSION
According to the Bible, one's "good name", or reputation, is far more valuable than riches or expensive ointments, (Pro. 22:1; Eccl. 7:1).
Your reputation determines the level of respect you receive - No one puts much confidence in a person who is dishonest, deceptive, or otherwise living his life in a sinful, shameful manner. I really respect people about whom I never hear a negative remark. Jesus was such a man - (Luke 2:52). We should do all that is in our power to see that we never allow our names to be associated with that which is disrespectful and shameful. It will undermine your good name and cause people to lose respect for you. Your life ought to be a beacon of integrity and decency.
Your reputation determines the level of the response you receive - Every Christian wants to be respected as a Christian and have his/her testimony be respected and responded to in a positive manner. The type of response that we can expect will always be determined by the kind of life others see us living! It has been said, "What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you are saying." In other words, the world will never believe what we say until they can see what we believe!
Your reputation is important, because what people perceive you to be is usually a fair indicator of what you really are. You see, your reputation is what others think you are and character is what you really are. However, people can misread us and misunderstand us and cause us to be something less than we actually are. However, as a general rule, your reputation is a direct result of your character. In other words, men think the way they do about you because of the way they see you act and live before them.
Your own reputation is valuable. Therefore, guard it with your very life. And, pray that others will do the same.
Now, you cannot be responsible for what others do with your reputation, but you are responsible for what you do with theirs.
Keep this in mind as we go forward with this message.
2. A REPUTATION CAN BE VANDALIZED PUBLICALLY
It is a serious thing - When we undermine the reputation of another by the words we speak, or write, we are guilty of destroying that persons respectability and credibility before others. We are guilty of doing unspeakable damage to a person's life and or ministry in life by the words we say about them.
I remember reading of a woman who was guilty of gossiping about another person. She was convicted and went to him to apologize to him and to try and make restitution for her wrongdoing. The person graciously accepted her apology and then told her that if she wanted to make it all right again, that she should take a pillowcase full of feathers to the top of the highest building in town and cast its feathers to the four winds. When this was done she was to return to him. She carried out his request and returned to him. He looked at her and said, "Now go and collect every one of those feathers." She replied, in horror, "That is impossible!" He said, "So, it is impossible for you to fully take back all those wrong hateful things you have said about me."
On another note a Pastor was having trouble with a gossip in the church. Every time she would see his car parked anywhere strange, she began immediately to spread the word that their Pastor was having an affair. There was no truth to her rumors, but she kept it up until the pastor, in an effort to stop her mouth, left his car parked in front of her house, day and night for a week. To say the least that cured the problem.
A lady was looking out her window, watching her neighbor hang her wash on the clothesline. As she watched, she remarked to a friend, "Our neighbor sure isn't clean. Why, just look at those streaks on her laundry." Her friend replied, "Those streaks are on your windows, not her clothes!" Sometimes, it is the sin in our own heart that makes us look for the evil in others!
The words of a false witness can be forgiven, but they will never be forgotten by those who are touched by their poison! Whether through wordy verbal gossip, email or Facebook, which seems to be today's arena of choice. Eternal damage can be done to reputations, relationships and ministries. People can even wind up in Hell because of the lies of a foolish person. I don't know about the rest of you, but I have absolutely no use for a gossip and a talebearer! I don't think the Lord does either!
It Is A Sad Thing
It is a sad day when one person thinks they have to repeat something on another. Embellish a false lie and involve others as joyful partakers in the conversations and afflictions. This is behavior that is hateful to God and demeaning to people! There are several ways in which people are guilty of using their tongues against another.
- Slander – defined as, "Communication of false statements injurious to a person's reputation." We are guilty of slander when we knowingly lie about another person in an effort to harm their reputation.
- Lying – "A false statement deliberately presented as being true. We all have heard this one - “You know,?”, “Roomer Has It", “I've Been Told”, “You'll Never Guess What I Saw”, etc.
- Talebearing – This is the practice of spreading gossip and rumors about others. It may be that the rumors are true. But, even that does not give us the right to tear down another's reputation. If we learn a secret about our neighbor, then we had better tell no one but God. He knows how to deal with their need and with them. I will promise you that He knows how to handle the gossip as well! Gossip is always a sin!
- Insinuation – This is the practice of insinuating or hinting that something may be wrong in the life of another. When we are guilty of making people doubt another's reputation, we are guilty of sin before the Lord. This is the tactic that Satan tried to use against Job - (Job 1:11; 2:5).
- Flattery – Flattery is saying something to a person's face that we would never say behind their backs. Usually flattery is given in an attempt to gain something from that individual. Flattery is lying!
- Exaggeration – This is an easy lie to tell. We stretch numbers, statistics, etc., to make things look better. What fisherman is there who has not been guilty of stretching the size of the one that got away? When we exaggerate, we are lying!
- Silence – When we here an untruth told and we remain silent, we are guilty of the "slander of silence." We become a party to the deception by not setting the record straight.
- "Loose lips sink ships!" – This old saying is appropriate to the church today. Many churches are in turmoil because of gossiping and foolish talking today. God will deal with the gossip. Notice what the Word has to say about the trouble a gossip can cause - [Pro. 26:20-28].
So... It Is A Sinful Thing? – When we practice any of these methods in regard to another, we are guilty of sin before the Lord! (Pro. 12:22; Lev. 19:16-17; Eph. 4:25).
In fact, God includes abuses of the tongue as three of the seven things He hates the most - (Pro. 6:16-19.) Are you guilty of using your tongue to harm another? If so, then you need to repent of that sin and get right with God! When you use your tongue to attack another, you are opening up your life to the judgment of God. James is exactly right when he says the tongue is a "World of iniquity."
So the question today now becomes; What shape is your world in?
Basically, God is saying that speaking evil is a big deal to Him. We humans may take it lightly, thinking "everyone does it" or "sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt them." God doesn't see it that way. He even compares speaking ill of others to murder!
Every Child of God needs to search his/her heart and determine for whose glory are we using our tongues.
3. REPUTATIONS SHOULD BE VIGOROUSLY PROTECTEDConfront The Gossip - Be quick to stand up for those who are being torn apart by the mouth of a gossip. We are just as guilty as the one talking when we stand there listening and do, or say, nothing in our brother or sister's defense. Be ready though, most gossips are sneaky, conniving people. They will be just as ready to turn their sharp tongue on you as they would on anyone else! In fact, if a gossip will gossip to you, he/she will probably gossip about you!
Conceal The Guilty – This does not mean that we condone sin in the lives of believers. It does mean, however, that we hesitate about bringing it out into the open. Many lives have been destroyed because people talked about others behind their backs and condemned them instead of praying for them and letting God work it out in His time and in His way.
As usual, God has a word about this matter also, (Pro. 11:13; 17:9; 1 Pet. 4:8).
Here is a good practice for living when it comes to what you will say or refrain from saying. We can form an acrostic from the word THINK. We should THINK before we speak of another.
T - Is it True?H - Will it Help?
I - Is it Inspiring?
N - Is it Necessary?
K - Is it Kind?
If what you have to say fails in any of these categories, then it is pretty safe to say that you would be better off not using your tongue for damage. A good habit to fall into is that of saying nothing about anyone unless it is good!
Are you guilty before the Lord today of using your tongue in a manner not pleasing unto Him?
If so, then I invite you to come to the altar and get that thing made right with the Lord. If you have been hurt by the long, wicked tongue of another, then I invite you to bring that injury to Jesus and let Him heal your heart. My prayer today is simple really:
“May our almighty God help us to do and say the right things!” Amen.
